Tag: Make Us Laugh

One squirrel says to the other squirrel

Here’s the second installment of my five part story on squirrels. Watch out Lisa Ling, I’m coming to getcha!

The cbs13.com reports that Redding firefighters are blaming a flaming squirrel for a grass fire that briefly threatened a home.

Firefighters say the squirrel set off the blaze yesterday when it shorted out a power line, caught fire and dropped into dry vegetation. It took eighteen firefighters and six fire engines 20 minutes to battle the one squirrel blaze.

One squirrel blaze! Badda bing! And the squirrel stock photo they used…very rich. If I didn’t know better I would suggest that cbs13.com is making with the jokes.

UPDATE: News10.net hasn’t thrown their fun hat into the ring with a, er, nutty squirrel photo.

Your Sacramento Bucket List?

Last night, while waiting for Quiz Master Ken to grade the Streets of London Pub Quiz answer sheets, Stickie and I were chatting with Lisa and Todd.

I asked what final things they feel like they need to do before leaving town, and Lisa asked, “Oh, like our Sacramento Bucket List?” She referenced yet another breakfast at Tower Cafe and outing to The Trap, and they’d recently gone rafting on one of our region’s raging waterways. I suggested throwing out the first pitch at a Rivercats game or spending the night at Sutter’s Fort.

What would be on your Sacramento Bucket List? Beating The Bee at pub quiz? Hitting every single gallery on Second Saturday? Riding the log ride at the State Fair with Poppy? Breakfast at the Market Club?

“Next” Sunday vs. “This” Sunday

In my previous post, I noted “next” Sunday as the one that will fall on March 16.

To me, the Sunday that will fall on March 9 is “this coming Sunday.” The one that was on March 2 was “this past Sunday.”

The whole “this” vs. “next” thing was possibly the biggest argument between my parents when I was growing up (other than the whole exchange of “Hold the tree straight!” “I AM holding the tree straight” when trying to put the Christmas tree in its stand.)

What say you on the whole “next” vs. “this” when referencing upcoming dates or days gone by?

Product Placement

Today’s Bee reports that Haagen Dazs is donating $100,000 to UC Davis to help find out why honey bees are disappearing at alarming rates. (OK, so I grew up watching Leonard Nimoy’s In Search Of and being frightened about the impending killer bees, and now the nice bees are vanishing? What gives? I want to keep bees.)

What products or companies would you suggest as possible sponsors or tie-ins to other issues plaguing our region, and why can’t I think of how to work Mayor McCheese into any of this?

Nuts to all that!

Fox has a “fake news” comedy show called “The 1/2 Hour News Hour.” Haven’t seen it, can’t comment on its laugh-generating ability. But the show’s companion Web site OfficialNewsAgency.com has a winner with a very funny spoof of the mandatory neutering legislation (for pets, gentlemen! for pets!) recently shelved in the state Senate. (Update: The site isn’t associated with the show. I got that idea from their About page, which I now see has been changed to clearly show that they’re making fun of the Fox show, for people like me who are too dopey to get it. Ha!)

The story is being circulated all over the Internets as true, which is what spoof writers live for:

A marble monument to service dogs, originally set to be displayed in Sacramento, California, may be on its way out of the golden state. The reason? The statue’s “manhood” is still intact.

Proponents of the recently-tabled state assembly bill AB-1634, the so-called “California Healthy Pets Act”, which would require that most of the state’s dogs and cats over the age of 6 months be sterilized, claim that placing the image of an intact male dog on public property is harmful and sends the wrong message to California pet owners.

“Its not an appropriate display, in a state that carries out three million euthanasias a year.” said Dan Nender, a 1634 supporter who filed suit in Sacramento Federal Court to have the monument altered.

Pressed about the number, since most reputable sources set that number at 400,000, Nender replied, “One is too many. Concentrate on the point I’m making, not the numbers.”

Pretty good stuff, and very believable if you followed any of the heated rhetoric on both sides of the issue. (Which I very much did, like, um, full-time for weeks.)

Best part of all:

“As California government officials […] will attest to, Sacramento is a testicle-free zone.”

Well, OK, so maybe it’s not all a spoof. We are talking about a town full of politicians, after all.

World War Z: Where does Sac make its last stand?

zombiesHeyMeg brings up an excellent point today about inevitable zombie attack, one that deserves more than a passing mention. Also it’s Thursday and everybody needs a little pick-me-up on Thursday afternoon. For more clarification I turned to her husband, The Game Guy, who asks:

If Zombies attack, where’s the safest place in Sacramento to hide out/what’s the best escape route.

I mean, contemporary wisdom would say Arden Fair mall, but I don’t think that’s such a great idea – given its land-locked location, and close proximity to soon-to-be jammed freeways.

And K Street Mall is looks like its basically infested with zombies right now, so I think it’s something worth thinking about.

I say secure the levees. Get to high ground.