Showing your Arbuckle

With the overwhelmingly lukewarm response to previous editions of Make Us Laugh, I thought it would be fun to throw this one out there. Comment with your witty snark and we’ll let you know who made us laugh.

Man Arrested for Exposing Himself Every Wednesday

An Arbuckle man has been arrested for allegedly exposing and fondling himself in public every Wednesday for at least the last several weeks, according to the Colusa County Sheriff’s Department…They say he’d stand at a window inside his home and exposed and fondle himself. The undercover officer arrested Sweet after witnessing his alleged crimes.

Shocker, I know, there’s a typo in the article.

Whatcha doin’, Mr. Munson?

Ah, humor. You remember humor, right? Laughing, chuckling, ROTFL’ing (for the kids). We could all use a little does of low brow levity, right?

The Sacto 9-1-1 brings us the following onion-esque jewel

A dispute over bowling etiquette grew into a fight, an alleged assault with a bowling ball that knocked out one man’s tooth and an arrest in Rocklin early this morning…The alleged assault occurred about 12:40 a.m. at the Rocklin AMF Lanes at 2325 Sierra Meadows Drive when two groups of bowlers got into a fist fight, Rocklin police Sgt. Terry Jewell stated in a news release…Two bowlers had approached the lane at the same time, and their dispute over who had right of way grew into a brawl involving six people, Jewell said.

The photo of the alleged assailant is a little too onioney. Are we being had?

Local duo cleverly protects their identity

We need teepee for our bungholes!
Don’t you stare at my belly button!

We see stories like this quite often. But, this particular one struck me as unique. Why? Well, there was something about the two dudes that reminded me of something. Something from my college days. What was it though? What was it about these two brainiacs holding up a pizza joint that seemed so familiar?

Then it hit me. That’s it! Answer after the jump…
Continue reading “Local duo cleverly protects their identity”

One squirrel says to the other squirrel

Here’s the second installment of my five part story on squirrels. Watch out Lisa Ling, I’m coming to getcha!

The reports that Redding firefighters are blaming a flaming squirrel for a grass fire that briefly threatened a home.

Firefighters say the squirrel set off the blaze yesterday when it shorted out a power line, caught fire and dropped into dry vegetation. It took eighteen firefighters and six fire engines 20 minutes to battle the one squirrel blaze.

One squirrel blaze! Badda bing! And the squirrel stock photo they used…very rich. If I didn’t know better I would suggest that is making with the jokes.

UPDATE: hasn’t thrown their fun hat into the ring with a, er, nutty squirrel photo.

Your Sacramento Bucket List?

Last night, while waiting for Quiz Master Ken to grade the Streets of London Pub Quiz answer sheets, Stickie and I were chatting with Lisa and Todd.

I asked what final things they feel like they need to do before leaving town, and Lisa asked, “Oh, like our Sacramento Bucket List?” She referenced yet another breakfast at Tower Cafe and outing to The Trap, and they’d recently gone rafting on one of our region’s raging waterways. I suggested throwing out the first pitch at a Rivercats game or spending the night at Sutter’s Fort.

What would be on your Sacramento Bucket List? Beating The Bee at pub quiz? Hitting every single gallery on Second Saturday? Riding the log ride at the State Fair with Poppy? Breakfast at the Market Club?

“Next” Sunday vs. “This” Sunday

In my previous post, I noted “next” Sunday as the one that will fall on March 16.

To me, the Sunday that will fall on March 9 is “this coming Sunday.” The one that was on March 2 was “this past Sunday.”

The whole “this” vs. “next” thing was possibly the biggest argument between my parents when I was growing up (other than the whole exchange of “Hold the tree straight!” “I AM holding the tree straight” when trying to put the Christmas tree in its stand.)

What say you on the whole “next” vs. “this” when referencing upcoming dates or days gone by?

Product Placement

Today’s Bee reports that Haagen Dazs is donating $100,000 to UC Davis to help find out why honey bees are disappearing at alarming rates. (OK, so I grew up watching Leonard Nimoy’s In Search Of and being frightened about the impending killer bees, and now the nice bees are vanishing? What gives? I want to keep bees.)

What products or companies would you suggest as possible sponsors or tie-ins to other issues plaguing our region, and why can’t I think of how to work Mayor McCheese into any of this?